Depression. It doesn't discriminate. Nor does it have a timeline or a warning. Depression hits unexpectedly, and sometimes it hits hard. It comes in different forms and isn't easily defined. We don't talk about it. At least not as much as we should. When you're sick you are told to go to the doctor. Coughing? Fever? Sore throat? Better go see a doctor asap. But when it comes to mental illness, you are expected to just get over it. Ignore it. Be happy. Be positive. Go outside! That will make you feel better! But it isn't always that simple. I believe in positive thinking and healing yourself through self-care, but I also believe in asking for help from family, friends, and medical professionals. Mental illness is just as important as physical illness, but we don't treat it that way. For whatever reason, we have come to believe as a society that if you are depressed then you are weak. And more times than not the depressed are blamed and judged. "You have a good life. Why are you depressed? There are people in the world who have it much harder than you. Stop complaining. Get over it." We wouldn't say those things to someone suffering from a sore throat and fever, so why do we say it to those who are depressed?
Today I am depressed. I don't know why, but I felt it as soon as I woke up. It isn't as bad as it could be and has been, but it's there. The lack of energy, disinterest, feeling overwhelmed, wanting to stay in bed and escape reality by watching an entire season of True Blood. That is me today. I have things I need to do, but I don't have any desire to do them. The thought of being productive and getting out of bed is exhausting. The reason I put off creating a blog for so long is because of my depression. When I would think about the effort and time it takes to create a blog and keep it going I would become overwhelmed and exhausted. Those are my feelings today. When I think about my career and what in the hell I am going to do with it I become anxious, stressed, overwhelmed, and exhausted. But I am working on it. I am learning how to take care of myself when I have these days because I am worth it. I recently watched a video that Tiffany Jenkins from Juggling the Jenkins made about depression. In the video, she talks about being gentle with herself and allowing herself to rest. That is what I am trying to do. So, the weekly recap this week won't be much, because I haven't done much. And that's ok. I think we are constantly trying to be more and do more and always be productive that we forget to rest. Today I am resting, but I am not going to stay in bed. I will do the small things that make me feel productive while being gentle with myself by taking it slowly. I will get up, take a shower, put on some music that makes me happy, and I will knock off a few of the smaller things on my list of "To Do's". Everyone battles their depression in a different way, and I am learning how to battle my own. If you are feeling down today, allow yourself to rest. Give yourself time. It's ok.